Why does it take a tradgedy for people to realize what really matters in life? Dont take what you have for granted it might not be there tomorrow and that will be a real tradgedy!
I really don't have much to type about tonight but I don't want to just type when I have bad days (especially when I search so hard for the inner peace) The hard part is I type more when I am doing bad. LOL< the more I study, the more I work at it, the better things are so I don't feel as much to vent
That isn't how I want it; I want us all to travel together. I am going to have my really positive weeks but I am also going to have my setbacks :-(
Let's do a motivational quote. I still feel that if everyone did this every day (when you get up, you set a motivation for the day) people would be in better moods so here is just a tad of motivation
There is only one success......... to be able to spend your life in your own way
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Oh- What a day- Everyday is a journey
My life-- Wow, sometimes I feel like it could be one big reality TV show. The only difference, it is real, I'm not rich and not getting paid for sharing it LOL (again, this is my free therapy)
This is my journey, my real journey in self help. Everyday can seem like a real challenge.
There is an old saying "somedays, you eat the bear and somedays, the bear eats you" The damn bear got me today
I wake up this morning (that's a good thing) I get ready for work and take my daughter to my mom's for the day. My mom was off today so she babysat. I go to get in my car from my mom's and the car wont start (battery died) so I borrow my mom's car. On the way to work, I accidentally hit the seat heat on in her car and have no idea how to turn it off. Riding to work for 22 minutes with the seat making my butt sweat. (note: It is summer where I live and has been very hot) so I get to work and my dress slacks are literally wet on my backside because of the heated seat (which is leather)
Than I go into the negative office I work in (which if you read my previous blog posts) than you know that I work in a negative office where you have 40 and 50 year old adults throwing temper tantrums and are constant pessimists and I had to get every customer today that took nasty pills (Seriously, is it necessary to be so nasty to people). I get yelled at for their real estate taxes increasing (Note: We are the mortgage company, I just want to scream "call your congressman, call your county) 8 hours at that office felt like 20.
So needless to say, I came home in bad mood (frowns)
Than, I subbed on my step dads bowling team tonight. I haven't bowled in a few months. Didn't bowl too bad 172, 169, 189. OK Average 177 (so not bad) but I got a good laugh. The team was doing bad and there is a little elderly gentleman that bowled on the team and he would get so mad everytime he got an open that he would curse and slap his ears. I could do nothing but laugh (not where he could hear me though haha) I was scared that he might come slap my ears too LOl
but at least, I laughed. :-)
With all the stress today (plus I have gained a few pounds since I quit smoking 3 1/2 months ago) I can feel it in my clothes, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself today. :-(
Even though, my life is good right now compared to so many others out there
Everyday is a mental journey to me. I often feel people take advantage of my niceness. I really need to work on the healthy selfishness bit.
I am feeling a bit stressed tonight. My mom hasn't been in good health recently (If you read my previous posts than you know about the cancer and her past life) She is such a great person. I am taking her to get an endoscopy tomorrow. Keep her in your prayers for me.
I have had too much loss in my life and my mom is truly the wind beneath my wings. She has survived a hard life but is yet one of the sweetest, kindest people you can meet.
I hope all is OK. She has lost like 40 pounds in 6 months. She is looking frail. She has had alot of tests done recently and nothing is coming back wrong. Hopefully, the endoscopy shows us something. I feel something is not right and very worried.
Cross your fingers for me
Somedays are good, somedays are bad but in all honesty, nobody really wants to hear about my hardships. Only when I am joking and laughing. That is why I love writing on this blog. I can just talk. Nobody has to read it but I feel I talked about it and it helps me. It is the diary of my life (kind of like the diary of a madman) only I am female
Smiles- Good Nite All
This is my journey, my real journey in self help. Everyday can seem like a real challenge.
There is an old saying "somedays, you eat the bear and somedays, the bear eats you" The damn bear got me today
I wake up this morning (that's a good thing) I get ready for work and take my daughter to my mom's for the day. My mom was off today so she babysat. I go to get in my car from my mom's and the car wont start (battery died) so I borrow my mom's car. On the way to work, I accidentally hit the seat heat on in her car and have no idea how to turn it off. Riding to work for 22 minutes with the seat making my butt sweat. (note: It is summer where I live and has been very hot) so I get to work and my dress slacks are literally wet on my backside because of the heated seat (which is leather)
Than I go into the negative office I work in (which if you read my previous blog posts) than you know that I work in a negative office where you have 40 and 50 year old adults throwing temper tantrums and are constant pessimists and I had to get every customer today that took nasty pills (Seriously, is it necessary to be so nasty to people). I get yelled at for their real estate taxes increasing (Note: We are the mortgage company, I just want to scream "call your congressman, call your county) 8 hours at that office felt like 20.
So needless to say, I came home in bad mood (frowns)
Than, I subbed on my step dads bowling team tonight. I haven't bowled in a few months. Didn't bowl too bad 172, 169, 189. OK Average 177 (so not bad) but I got a good laugh. The team was doing bad and there is a little elderly gentleman that bowled on the team and he would get so mad everytime he got an open that he would curse and slap his ears. I could do nothing but laugh (not where he could hear me though haha) I was scared that he might come slap my ears too LOl
but at least, I laughed. :-)
With all the stress today (plus I have gained a few pounds since I quit smoking 3 1/2 months ago) I can feel it in my clothes, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself today. :-(
Even though, my life is good right now compared to so many others out there
Everyday is a mental journey to me. I often feel people take advantage of my niceness. I really need to work on the healthy selfishness bit.
I am feeling a bit stressed tonight. My mom hasn't been in good health recently (If you read my previous posts than you know about the cancer and her past life) She is such a great person. I am taking her to get an endoscopy tomorrow. Keep her in your prayers for me.
I have had too much loss in my life and my mom is truly the wind beneath my wings. She has survived a hard life but is yet one of the sweetest, kindest people you can meet.
I hope all is OK. She has lost like 40 pounds in 6 months. She is looking frail. She has had alot of tests done recently and nothing is coming back wrong. Hopefully, the endoscopy shows us something. I feel something is not right and very worried.
Cross your fingers for me
Somedays are good, somedays are bad but in all honesty, nobody really wants to hear about my hardships. Only when I am joking and laughing. That is why I love writing on this blog. I can just talk. Nobody has to read it but I feel I talked about it and it helps me. It is the diary of my life (kind of like the diary of a madman) only I am female
Smiles- Good Nite All
Friday, July 2, 2010
Life lessons for living the way you live
Finding balance and serenity.
How do we do that in today's stressful environment.
How do we reduce stress??
It is a well known fact that stress can be harmful to your health, both physically and emotionally
I went to my 11 year old's dance recital tonight at Baltimore Dance Center. Baltimore Dance Center gives an absolute awesome performance.
I especially love to watch the ballet. The feeling and emotion in the dances is awesome.
There was a ballet number to the song "Concrete Angels" and the expression they put in the dance and their faces was heart wrenching. (for those who know the song, the song dwells on a battered child"
We all just stress so much on the things that mean the least.
Stop making mountains out of molehills.
Appreciate the stability that you do have in your life while coping with the obstacles.
Focus on the positive and always remember that while you think you have it bad, someone, somewhere always has it worse :-(
Finding the place where you belong
The universe is holding it's breath..... Waiting for you to take your place
Growing up, my family was very poor and my father was an abusive drunk and drug addict. He showed void of emotion and was also bulemic and me, my mom and brother suffered from every one of his void emotions. He took his shallow childhood and emptiness out on us with the meanest of hands.
I think the best thing he could have done for us is left us as he did in 1986. He cheated and left. That was most likely a blessing. My mom struggled. Oh how she struggled?? My parents married on 10/10/1971. My brother was born on 05/10/1972. My mom just shy of her 19th birthday and my dad of his 21st. I was born on 10/10/1976. From 1976 and so on, what was life for me?? In short of words, Hell on Earth. My dad left in 1986, I was 10. In 1987, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a full mastectomy and full chemo, she was 32, I was 11.
In 1988, my brother was murdered over a $20 marijuana deal. I was 12
Needless to say, my mom nearly had a nervous breakdown. In a 24 month period of time, my mom lost her husband of 20 years, her breast and her son. As a result of all the trauma, sure I suffered emotional losses along the years. (Hell, I didn't choose to be born and I sure don't choose to die- although eventually someday I will) but I do choose my life right here and right now. I get so tired of hearing the old cliche that I did this or that or a crime because I had a bad childhood. Guess what?? That is crap!! When it comes to childhood, mine truly sucked.
Let's fast forward to the present. My mom who has lost her breast, her son, her husband, half a kidney etc is one of the most loving, sympathetic people here on this earth. Guess what, her parents especially her mother was the most cold heartest people around. Her own mother never told her that she loved her until she was 32 years old laying on an operating table getting her breast removed.
I myself has suffered a bad childhood (Nothing nearly as bad as my mom) I did have a bad childhood but you know what??? That is the past and there is nothing I can do to go back and change 1976 to now but I can control my present and future and my daughter's
My mom and I sat and watched Courtney (my daughter- mom's granddaughter) in an absolutely stellar dance performance tonight.
My daughter is into so much (dance, softball, basketball, drama)
and I know that everytime, I look at her. She is the reward of my mother and I (My mother taught me the fighter and positive side). Both my mom and I just glow as we watch her excel in all she does. We relive both our childhood's through Courtney. My only regret is her that I got pregnant at a young age and her father is a deadbeat dad. He is into drugs etc and not in her life but my fiance and I got together when she was five and he has done all the daddy stuff. (althought deep down, I know she feels it) but he has coached all the softball teams, wiped the tears, been to all the dance practices LOL - The mother's at the dance studio know him more than me haha) My fiance has done it all. He is her dad in every shape of the word.
I just hope when my baby gets older that she breaks the vicious cycle with men that both me and my mom went through. Of course, all Courtney's boyfriends have me to go through first (which isn't a pretty sight when it comes to my baby and boys :-) I think I can scare the bad ones away
Although my momhad nothing but trauma in her life, Me and her granddaughter are the wind beneath her wings and my mom is truly my hero
so to make a long story not so short LOL, I don't want to hear, I had a rough childhood so I can't be happy---- That is crap
Take time to laugh everyday, inspire yourself, make time for yourself and your family
Laugh, Love, Forgive, Live
If you read my entire post above, Ironic, my wedding date is 10/10/10
My parents married on 10/10, I was born 10/10, but what I failed to mention is that my fiance and I started dating on 10/10/2004. LOL He proposed 10/10/05 I told him I wanted to marry him but didn't want to marry to 10/10/10 (note: My job that I have worked for since March 16, 1995, I have always been employee #10) I just love the number 10. Well Tim told me back in 2005 that there was no way in h**l that he was waiting until 2010 LOL Guess what, we are going to have the best wedding on 10/10/10 LOL
All the bad memories of my parent's marriage on 1010 are going to be whiped away
Love yourself and love others.
Treat others how you would want to be treated
How do we do that in today's stressful environment.
How do we reduce stress??
It is a well known fact that stress can be harmful to your health, both physically and emotionally
I went to my 11 year old's dance recital tonight at Baltimore Dance Center. Baltimore Dance Center gives an absolute awesome performance.
I especially love to watch the ballet. The feeling and emotion in the dances is awesome.
There was a ballet number to the song "Concrete Angels" and the expression they put in the dance and their faces was heart wrenching. (for those who know the song, the song dwells on a battered child"
We all just stress so much on the things that mean the least.
Stop making mountains out of molehills.
Appreciate the stability that you do have in your life while coping with the obstacles.
Focus on the positive and always remember that while you think you have it bad, someone, somewhere always has it worse :-(
Finding the place where you belong
The universe is holding it's breath..... Waiting for you to take your place
Growing up, my family was very poor and my father was an abusive drunk and drug addict. He showed void of emotion and was also bulemic and me, my mom and brother suffered from every one of his void emotions. He took his shallow childhood and emptiness out on us with the meanest of hands.
I think the best thing he could have done for us is left us as he did in 1986. He cheated and left. That was most likely a blessing. My mom struggled. Oh how she struggled?? My parents married on 10/10/1971. My brother was born on 05/10/1972. My mom just shy of her 19th birthday and my dad of his 21st. I was born on 10/10/1976. From 1976 and so on, what was life for me?? In short of words, Hell on Earth. My dad left in 1986, I was 10. In 1987, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a full mastectomy and full chemo, she was 32, I was 11.
In 1988, my brother was murdered over a $20 marijuana deal. I was 12
Needless to say, my mom nearly had a nervous breakdown. In a 24 month period of time, my mom lost her husband of 20 years, her breast and her son. As a result of all the trauma, sure I suffered emotional losses along the years. (Hell, I didn't choose to be born and I sure don't choose to die- although eventually someday I will) but I do choose my life right here and right now. I get so tired of hearing the old cliche that I did this or that or a crime because I had a bad childhood. Guess what?? That is crap!! When it comes to childhood, mine truly sucked.
Let's fast forward to the present. My mom who has lost her breast, her son, her husband, half a kidney etc is one of the most loving, sympathetic people here on this earth. Guess what, her parents especially her mother was the most cold heartest people around. Her own mother never told her that she loved her until she was 32 years old laying on an operating table getting her breast removed.
I myself has suffered a bad childhood (Nothing nearly as bad as my mom) I did have a bad childhood but you know what??? That is the past and there is nothing I can do to go back and change 1976 to now but I can control my present and future and my daughter's
My mom and I sat and watched Courtney (my daughter- mom's granddaughter) in an absolutely stellar dance performance tonight.
My daughter is into so much (dance, softball, basketball, drama)
and I know that everytime, I look at her. She is the reward of my mother and I (My mother taught me the fighter and positive side). Both my mom and I just glow as we watch her excel in all she does. We relive both our childhood's through Courtney. My only regret is her that I got pregnant at a young age and her father is a deadbeat dad. He is into drugs etc and not in her life but my fiance and I got together when she was five and he has done all the daddy stuff. (althought deep down, I know she feels it) but he has coached all the softball teams, wiped the tears, been to all the dance practices LOL - The mother's at the dance studio know him more than me haha) My fiance has done it all. He is her dad in every shape of the word.
I just hope when my baby gets older that she breaks the vicious cycle with men that both me and my mom went through. Of course, all Courtney's boyfriends have me to go through first (which isn't a pretty sight when it comes to my baby and boys :-) I think I can scare the bad ones away
Although my momhad nothing but trauma in her life, Me and her granddaughter are the wind beneath her wings and my mom is truly my hero
so to make a long story not so short LOL, I don't want to hear, I had a rough childhood so I can't be happy---- That is crap
Take time to laugh everyday, inspire yourself, make time for yourself and your family
Laugh, Love, Forgive, Live
If you read my entire post above, Ironic, my wedding date is 10/10/10
My parents married on 10/10, I was born 10/10, but what I failed to mention is that my fiance and I started dating on 10/10/2004. LOL He proposed 10/10/05 I told him I wanted to marry him but didn't want to marry to 10/10/10 (note: My job that I have worked for since March 16, 1995, I have always been employee #10) I just love the number 10. Well Tim told me back in 2005 that there was no way in h**l that he was waiting until 2010 LOL Guess what, we are going to have the best wedding on 10/10/10 LOL
All the bad memories of my parent's marriage on 1010 are going to be whiped away
Love yourself and love others.
Treat others how you would want to be treated
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