1. Is going to see The Nutcracker... It reminds me of boxing, except with music, choreography, and the dancers don't hit each other.
2. Is going to buy my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, "toys not included.”
3. Thinks this year, he is going to buy all his Christmas gifts from Nike... Made for kids by kids...
4. This just in... Santa has been shot down by Sarah Palin while flying over Alaska...
5. Thinks that Santa Claus has the right idea to only visit people once a year.
6. Is going to surprise his wife on X-Mas with new boxers that say "Tickle-My-Elmo".
7. Thinks there's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning... and not be a child.
8. Wonder is Christmas trees could scream, would we be so joyful in cutting them down? I suppose we might... if they screamed all the time... and for no good reason.
9. says "I got your stocking stuffer right here! Baby!"
10. can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"
11. Wants an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
12. Hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
13. wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
14. Is looking forward to the new Christmas special, "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"
15. may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping.
16. is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head
17. is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.
18. is eating her weight in figgy pudding.
19. is inviting you to tickle her Elmo.
20. is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment