Crying Like Never Before

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No where to run
No where to hide
I grab the blade as I sit alone

I drag the blade across my skin
It starts to bleed
Bleeding like a waterfall

I cut not because I want to die
I cut to release the hurt inside
I self harm to help me be that little bit better
I sit alone to do these things cause it’s safer

I feel so alone
I feel so sad

I don’t want to die
I don’t want to cry
I don’t want to feel this way

I have learnt to fake my smile
The smile they all know is that I pretend
I try to hide my laugh
Except I cant it feels too good

I want to be happy like every one else in this world
I want to feel safe every where
I am lost between worlds

The world of death
Where all is dark,
Everything is dying,
All is depressed
There is no smile
No light to see
The clouds are grey
And it’ always raining
The people walking around
They are not alive
They are dead
There is blood every where you look
Everything is black with red
The colors of hell
Maybe this is Hell
And the other world being bright
Full of life, laughter, and happiness
Nothing is dark all has color
Every where you go
Love is all around
Family and friends having so much fun
No tears at all
No death, no pain,
The clouds are white and fluffy
The sun shines nicely through them

Those are the worlds
The worlds I am between
My dream is unknown
My dream was once death
Now I don’t know

The hurt inside has got me lost
For my mind is screaming at me