...and by "this" i mean this thing that has now become a trend. Or let me not say "now become", because it may have always been a trend but has just taken me this long to figure it out. Either way, i want to understand "this" thing, but i'll first start by saying this. When you have something, you unintentionally mess with it because you have it. Because it's still there, you don't notice how bad you've messed with it. You repeat this a second time, and when it's still there, you notice that you messed with it but it didn't go nowhere. So what happens the third time?
"This" thing... i may not have a good command of diction, but just try to track me on this. He wants her... to just be there for him. That's basically it. If you've been through this (which i'm guessing will be a large population of girls reading this, because that's all i ever see anymore when i turn my head from one side to another), you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. He wont make an official girlfriend out of you, but he wants you to do all the things that girlfriends do, and to act like one. Then he gets mad when you do things that a single lady would do. (Fill in the blank with allllllll the things that single lady's do). I know that there are a lot of unwritten rules, and i dont know if it is just me, but i don't know the one that says that the man in a non-dating relationship is allowed to get mad at the lady when she acts like she's single.
Yes, i say it has become a trend, because people i know, people i don't, all around the place, this circumstance has become the norm. Previously, i would have called girls that still hung around men like these pathetic, but not anymore. See, i'm a woman, and I've had only two serious relationships in my life, because when i love someone, i really do love them. Therefore, i can speak for women, and it would be at least a little accurate to say that if a woman doesn't walk out the door the very first time you take steps away, it means that she feels strongly. If she still doesnt walk out after some time of you not giving her the official go ahead to walk with her arm intertwined in yours on the streets, then she feels very strongly. This is where the foundation of "this" lies. Because these men know that their women feel so strongly, and wont walk away that easy, they want to do what they want to do, but have these women as a stable to always be there. (I may be wrong. But i'm trying to make the most accurate guess that i can.)
There really isn't much i can do to understand this, because if i said i was going on a mission to understand boys, i'd be going on a wild goose chase. However, i may have an idea of how it works for the woman. Yes, women (with many exceptions) love, and are committed, and faithful and stuff. But there's only so much a woman, no matter what she feels, can take. She may hide tears with a smile, a depressed spirit with a song, a broken heart with words, but see, there's still strength and the will to move on; something that the whole world may never get to realize. Every woman has a breaking point, (I wasn't really quoting Keri Hilson, but whatever.) and when she gets there, she'll do what she can to get rid of whatever got her there. I cant vouch for all the women in the world, but i can say with a level of confidence that many will walk. With that being said, some boys just don't realise that they are on their way to creating some lady's breaking point, or even being it themselves (if that makes sense in your head like it does in mine).
I'm not saying go around wifing every girl that seems to give a shit about you. That will be lame. Very lame indeed. What I'm saying is this. When you have something, you unintentionally mess with it because you have it. Because it's still there, you don't notice how bad you've messed with it. You repeat this a second time, and when it's still there, you notice that you messed with it but it didn't go nowhere. So the third time, you mess with it intentionally because you know that no matter how far you'll walk, you'll come and find it right where you left it. This third time, you'll come back to a void, of not just no one, but nothing. it may take you 4,5,6,7, or even 8 times or more, but the moment you make it a habit of messing with something just because you know it will always be there, you'll lose it. No girl that gives you her heart and acts right deserves to be a trophy - just used for attention and pride because she's cute, decent, or just has a nice body. Also, no girl will always "just be there". Everyone has the capacity to move on in them. And any man that makes a trophy out of a lady, may just be the reason that she realises hers.
So, this is my own shot at a response to "this"... as i do it.
~***shanpepe***~
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