ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll: This is one of the very first books that I ever read on my own as a little kid, and it's just as funny, scary, absurd and beautiful now as it was back then. Bored with reading her storybook, one “without picture or conversations,” Alice follows a rabbit with a pocketwatch down a dark hole, and falls into Wonderland. Don't die without reading this book.

(edited excerpt)
“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, “we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle — we used to call him Tortoise —”

“Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?” Alice asked.

“We called him Tortoise because he taught us,” said the Mock Turtle angrily: “really you are very dull!”

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,” added the Gryphon.

“I only took the regular course,” said the Mock Turtle.

“What was that?” inquired Alice.

“Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,” the Mock Turtle replied; “and then the different branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.”

“And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.

“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so on.”

“What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

“That's the reason they're called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked: “because they lessen from day to day.”