Friday, July 20, 2012


“I don’t know. I feel sad. I’ve been very sad. I went to a random party girl store today and tried on a dress and looked at myself and I look very ugly and terrible. I’m so nervous that I feel like I’m going to shit and vomit constantly. Over the weekend I felt very lonely and ugly and sad. I went to the movies alone Sunday and sat in the bathroom afterward and cried.”

In his room he closed his eyes and thought about Dakota Fanning and other people. He orgasmed into toilet paper. He carried the toilet paper to the bathroom and put it in the toilet. He peed into the toilet. He flushed the toilet. He washed his hands. He washed his face. He went to his room and read a few sentences from different books. He ate dark chocolate. He showered and did twenty-five push-ups and turned off the light.

At American Apparel Dakota Fanning carried eight dresses into the dressing room. The dresses were not the right size. Haley Joel Osment left the dressing room and returned with eight dresses of the right size. They put the eight right-sized dresses into Dakota Fanning’s bag and Haley Joel Osment left American Apparel with the bag. Dakota Fanning left the dressing room and put the eight dresses of the wrong size on the rack and left American Apparel.

“They’re going to notice,” said Haley Joel Osment walking quickly. “It seems like they can’t not notice. Do you think they’ll send the police?”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Dakota Fanning. “I’m going back to New Jersey. They’ll search for a skinny boy and a girl in a black dress.”

“Find me an apartment.”

“I’m looking online right now,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Thank you. I feel sad like I’m going to cry. I’m going to cry on my keyboard.”

“I stole you green pants and a shirt with bright green stripes that are the same color as the dress I’m wearing now,” said Dakota Fanning. “I saw this heart monitor for pregnant women. It’s expensive. But I think I can steal it. I want to listen to our hearts.”

“Thank you. Come to my reading July 20.”

“Okay,” said Dakota Fanning. “My birthday is July 22. I don’t know when I can come back. You will have to come here for a while. Until July maybe. I don’t know. I’m going to have a job soon. I’m fucked.”

“I’m alone,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I’m alone.”

“Me too,” said Dakota Fanning.

“I am more alone than you. My cell phone broke. I sit alone in my room. There is no way to communicate with me.”

“You have a phone in your apartment,” said Dakota Fanning. “It’s impossible for me to stop being obese. Even if I exercise I am still obese.”

“Why are you obese?”

“Birth control,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Take vitamins in the morning. And green tea.”

“Okay,” said Dakota Fanning.

“And walk. Drink Edensoy instead of juice. And move your arms around when you’re watching a movie. And climb mountains.”

“Caffeine makes me feel strange and uncomfortable,” said Dakota Fanning.

Haley Joel Osment showered and they left the apartment.

At a grocery store Dakota Fanning stole green tea pomegranate juice and Haley Joel Osment stole organic cherry tomatoes. They walked outside and saw a strange-looking store. It was another grocery store. They went in and stole a salad. On the sidewalk Haley Joel Osment said “Look at this salad, doesn’t it look pretty?” He stopped walking and photographed it with his cell phone.

“I felt embarrassed of myself again. I felt nervous. Sometimes if I stare for too long I think about loneliness and I think about what is going to happen if I annoy you and you leave me and about how lonely and afraid of everything I used to be and I just get nervous and cry I guess. I don’t know. Before when I was lonely it was sort of a calm loneliness. Like I would just say ‘oh well.’ And lie in bed. And just be alone. But now when I think about being lonely it’s very depressing and I can’t relax.”

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